Evil Aliens

I just watched one of the weirdest, greatest, stupidest, funniest, lamest, most original/unoriginal movies I have ever seen. This movie is a conundrum, an oxymoron of extreme proportions. Sure, there are movies that are so bad, they’re great. This is not one of those. This movie is terrible and great at the same time. I’m not sure how to write this review. I’m not sure how to rate the film; is it one star or five stars? I’m leaning towards five, but I love this stuff. I need some help on this one, but I can’t recommend it to everyone. I can barely recommend it to anyone. It’s gory, crude, and crass. It’s unrated for a reason. It’s Jake West’s Evil Aliens.

Who the hell is Jake West? Is he a famous director? Why is his name so prominently attached to the title of the movie? Is it kind of like Stuart Gordon’s Re-Animator or John Carpenter’s Vampires? Is this Jake's tongue-in-cheek attempt to mimic that trend? I think so. After a brief excursion to the land of imdb, I found that Jake West directed a movie called Razor Blade Smile (1998) that I recall having seen on the shelves in the horror section at Blockbuster. He has mainly directed those behind the scenes featurettes you get in the special features section on DVD releases. He did one for Don Coscarelli’s Bubba Ho-Tep and a couple for Evil Dead and a piece about Bruce Campbell. This makes sense. He pays homage to those films, among others, in Evil Aliens.

Evil Aliens is a sci-fi/horror/comedy/parody/action film. The plot is simple. Some aliens harboring evil intentions come to earth, landing somewhere in the Welsh countryside. They encounter a humping couple in the midst of a field of upright stones (like Stonehenge, but smaller). At first I thought, “oh shit, is this a porno?” Don’t worry, it’s not. The aliens abduct the couple and take them into their spaceship. They impregnate the girl (I won’t tell you how, but believe me, it’s disgusting) and torture the guy. The torture involves a sadistic take on the anal-probe myth. The newly pregnant girl contacts a British television show called Weird Worlde (yes, that’s how they spell it). The producer decides to send his crew to check out the girl’s story and to film a re-enactment of the event. The TV film crew a nerdy dude who specializes in alien sightings arrive at the Welsh farm where the girl lives with her three crazy, inbred farmer brothers (I’m not completely sure of their relation; they could be uncles or cousins or something). The three farmers only speak Welsh and there is some inside joke here that I didn’t quite understand.

That’s the set-up for the slaughter and mayhem. Our group of protagonists (I hesitate to use the term “heroes” because they are all unlikable) soon encounters the aliens and body parts fly. Carnage ensues. Blood spews. Entrails are exposed. Legs and arms are ripped from bodies. Heads are severed and kicked around like soccer balls. Cattle are mutilated and their meaty pieces are thrown about. The gore effects in this movie are amazing. There is an impaling scene that is an obvious homage to Cannibal Holocaust. There is a scene where a guy gets his eyes poked out from behind and the eyes fly across the screen (Evil Dead 2). There are these flying metal spheres that resemble the orbs from Phantasm. There’s even a three-breasted alien (remember Total Recall?). The humans use shotguns, chainsaws, and even a weed-whacker to mutilate the aliens. Oh, and a combine...can't forget the combine. The result is gore-filled chaos. I had a blast. You have to see it to believe it. The ending features a nifty little twist that I won’t spoil here.

The flaws of Evil Aliens are definitely related to its low budget (estimated at under $2 million). At times, I felt like I was watching a movie that some friends had shot on video in their back yard. Some of the acting is pretty bad. The dialogue is decent for this type of film, but there are a few too many jokes that fall flat. The special effects that don’t involve the gore are pretty cheesy…especially the flying spaceship. That's okay for the most part; this film revels in its campiness.

Jake West directs the film with enthusiasm. The scenes are fast-paced with lots of cool zooms and angles reminiscent of Sam Raimi. The set pieces and costumes are great. The action sequences are well choreographed and the tension is palpable. I’d really like to see what this guy can do with a bigger budget. He obviously loves the genre. Evil Aliens resembles Re-Animator in its style and outright craziness. Its campy humor and parody remind me of Evil Dead 2.

Tagline: Evil Aliens is the bastard child of Re-Animator and Evil Dead 2.

PS: I warned you. This movie is not for the uninitiated horror fan. If you haven’t seen the other films I’ve mentioned in this review (except, of course, Cannibal Holocaust; no one needs to see that) then don’t watch this movie. Watch the others first. Do your homework. No crying.