Hey. I reviewed Juno. It's a movie about a pregnant teenage girl and a kid that runs track and the witty way in which teenagers interact in our hip society. You already know about it because there were a bunch of ads for it on myspace. People find a lot of joy in this movie. I find pain. By the way, it won an academy award.Ah…the “indie darling” film. The hip mainstream film for people who don’t like mainstream film. The character dramedy. The movie that depicts the real-life troubles of our disenchanted youth. Only it doesn’t. It tries to pass itself off as being “in touch” with reality. That’s its biggest failure. That’s my biggest complaint against it. It’s a façade. Take the sonogram scene…the interaction between the mom and the nosy technician. That dialogue never happens in normal, everyday life (go here to read it). That scene is as phony as the computer generated scorpion king in The Mummy Returns. Juno is no more relevant than Harold and Kumar Go To Wherever. The characters say things that are supposed to sound clever, but when the consonants, vowels, and syllables reach my ears and proceed to be processed by my brain, my brain tells my head to shake in embarrassment and directs my eyes to stare at the floor between my feet. Bad blog dialogue. I count the crumbs on the carpet. I look back up at the TV and I feel sorry for future generations. I feel sorry for their taste in music, if the music in this movie is any representation of what they listen to. It’s terribly cute, unbearably so. These songs are the pseudo-intellectual teenage girl anthems of the 2000’s.
Spoiler:
I’m glad that precocious Juno, at age 16, found her life’s true love. Go team.
I can’t believe this film was nominated for best picture. I’m astounded that it won an Oscar for Best Screenplay. The Graduate didn’t even win for Best Screenplay. Remember when all the internet movie critic snobs were up in arms about Crash’s Academy recognition. Crash kicks this movie’s ass all over the place and Crash is a terrible film. Thank you, Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody, for making me hate movies all over again. I can wait for your next project. Go to hell.
2 comments:
You're just jealous because you try really hard to be cool, and no 16 year old girls think that you're the coolest person around and don't even have to try. That, and the fact that you don't have a hip enough vocab.
i assumed Juno was directed by the same guy that directed Knocked Up, because it's about unexpected pregnancy and Michael Cera stars as Juno's boyfriend (he was in Superbad, a close relative of Knocked Up).
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