Things That Suck And/Or Piss Me Off

Doug Collins:
Doug Collins is a TV announcer for NBA games. He gets paid to blather on about keys to winning and statistics and percentages and how much the NBA cares and players’ stupid personal triumphs and stuff. To Doug, every play is amazing and every game is the best game ever. He is the true master of boring, cliche hyperbole. He’s a huge fan of Kobe Bryant, to the point that he would gladly let Kobe take it to his hole. That’s right, he’d enjoy The Black Mamba's back door penetration. Mr. Collins talks way too much during the game. I know that’s his job, but he takes his job too seriously. He needs to shut up once in a while. Just look at his fucking face. Thanks to Douglas Collins, I now watch all the games where he is commentating on mute.