Terminator 4

So there are these amazing movies about time traveling robots and explosions and wars brought about by machines that become self-aware and decide to destroy humanity because it is fun so on Judgment Day they blow shit up and the few humans that survive start a resistance movement and they are led by John Connor who the terminators have been trying to destroy in the past so he can't battle against them in the future. You might have seen The Terminator which was a 1980s movie starring Arnold as an evil menacing invincible robot terminator sent back in time from the future after Judgment Day to kill John Connor's mom who hasn't even gotten pregnant with John Connor but she will during a brief sex scene in a hotel with a hazy filter lens on the camera. Arnold rides motorcycles and blows up semi trucks but fails in his mission, so he has to protect the young John Connor in Terminator 2 from a liquid metal terminator played by the Filter guy’s brother who was also in the X-Files when Mulder wasn't. The young John Connor is an irritating asshole who you wish would die so there wouldn’t need to be another terminator movie, just terminator pinball machines with red robot eyes that light up. But he doesn’t die so there’s a Terminator 3 with lots of great effects but no story. That brings us to the incredible Terminator 4: Terminator Salvation which is J.D. Salinger’s favorite movie* of all time. I will endorse anything that the writer of Frannie and Zooey claims is a work of genius. In Terminator Salvation we finally get to see the future battles of the robots versus the human resistance with the grown up John Connor leading the way, yelling, and shooting. This film has amazing time travel implications as well. John Connor has to find his father who is only a teenager and make sure he doesn’t die so John Connor can lead the resistance and find him again to protect him so he doesn’t die so he can go back in time and fuck John Connor’s mom so John Connor will be born and run from the Terminators in Terminator 2 and 3 and eventually lead the resistance of humans against robots after Judgment Day occurs. But then he has to find his father so that his father can go back in time to fuck his mother again in this endless circle of time traveling brilliance. The director McG does a great job in making the most exciting and explosive terminator movie in the series. The one shot camera move that follows the helicopter crash at the beginning of the film is a work of sheer cinematic artistry. Only McG could pull this off. Or Tarsem. This movie has it all including underwater terminators and giant terminators with motorcycle terminators attached to their legs and terminators that look like Arnold, T-800’s or something. Arnold is a digital creation of his younger self when his balls weren’t so old because no one wants to see Arnold’s old testicles and saggy ass. When terminators die, their red eyes turn off. That’s how you know you’re safe from their relentless attacks. The big twist in this movie is that it is PG-13 rather than R like the previous 3 movies. This is so the kids can see it, even though they’re not old enough to see the preceding movies so they don’t understand what is going on and they can instead sit and text their friends about the awesome explosions or about the last episode of the life of the secret American teenager who got pregnant in high school or about Kobe Bryant. The other big twist in the movie is about a murderer who got capitally punished by lethal injection but before he goes under the needle he agrees to have his body donated to cancer science but instead of being used for cancer science it is turned into a cyborg that believes it is human because it has a human heart but the rest of it is robotic. It poses an ethical dilemma about the future of evil science and just how far will it go to fuck shit up.

*see here